So Simple It’s Silly: Crack Bread

So Simple It’s Silly is a series of incredibly easy sweet and savory recipes. Minimal ingredients, great short cuts and not at all time-consuming.

In 2012 when Food Network launched their Celebrity Cook Off show I was such a die-hard fan! First off, Loud Diamond Phillips still looks super sexy and what an awesome guy he is! So hard-work and supportive of his team members, Coolio was the total comic relief, he had home-grown non-pretentious skills and humor. I was so excited Taylor Dayne brought such awareness to her charity, Cambodian Children’s Fund, which is so very dear to my heart. I was hoping Taylor would win just because of her charity but was glad Lou did. I haven’t seen any of the new seasons though, are they any good?


Of all the recipes, Coolio’s his Fork Steak and Ghettalian Bread stuck in my head the most, getting rave reviews by the judges who seemed surprised by how good his food was. I thought the mayonnaise in garlic bread idea was fantastic! I mean really, what is mayo after all but fat? Fat broiled on bread is good no matter how you look at it. For a Sunday family dinner recently, I decided to do my version of Coolio’s Ghettalian bread. I call it Crack Bread. Why Crack Bread? Because it’s so damn good you’ll be addicted to it like it’s crack. Yessssssss SIR! I am so in love with this cheesy garlic bread, I almost didn’t post it, I wanted to keep the recipe all to myself. Then I realized how selfish I was being, Crack Bread should be shared and loved by all. If I were President, my biggest promise, aside from (of course) helping the country would be CRACK BREAD FOR ALL! Vote for me!

My recipe makes enough for 2 loaves of bread ( I have a family of eaters, what can I say!), feel free to cut the recipe in half if you don’t want too much garlic spread left over. I just applied it thickly to the bread and called it a day. Sunday’s are for splurging on calories after all!

1 Stick Unsalted Butter
1/2 cup Garlic, minced
1 cup Mayonnaise
1 1/2 cup Mozzarella Cheese, shredded
1/4 tsp Cayenne Pepper (optional)
1 tsp Paprika
2 tsp Dried Oregano
1/2 cup Scallions, sliced thinly
1/2 tsp Black Pepper
Salt to taste
French Bread

1. In a small pot over low heat, add butter and garlic, allow to melt and cook together slowly. When I say cook slowly, I really mean a snail’s pace slow. Stir every so often. This allows the garlic to soften and cook gently while the butter loses all it’s milk fat and becomes clarified. About 20-25 mins. Set aside and let cool to room temperature

2. Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

3. In a bowl, mix together all ingredients (including cooled garlic butter), cover and place in refrigerator for 2-4 hours. I like to do this step so the flavors really meld, if you’re pressed for time, skip the refrigeration, it’ll still taste great.

4. Slather thickly (or thinly, up to you) on French Bread that’s been sliced length wise.

5. Place in over and bake until bread is hot and top is browned and crusty, 15-20mins. I also like to place it under the broiler for 30 seconds at the very end to really brown the top.

6. Slice, enjoy, become addicted, make a 2nd loaf, enjoy that one too. Call Ms Fatty your dealer ‘cus she just hooked you up! 😉

Taylor Dayne is STILL the coolest!

WEEK 8 of 52…CHECK!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s